


Tevinter Wine and Dalish Wiles

by exklusiv



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M, drunk boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-02 00:26:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2793113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exklusiv/pseuds/exklusiv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were two things everyone in Skyhold could agree on.</p>
<p>One of those things was when Dorian Pavus and Nils Lavellan stayed up late drinking, nothing good was going to happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tevinter Wine and Dalish Wiles

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta'd because it's short and I am lazy. There are also a few spoilery type things here, for those who haven't finished the game, since this takes place afterward. A warning for you!

The people who resided in Skyhold tended to disagree on most things. Without the threat of Corypheus or the Breach, there was less of a united opinion than there had been before. Despite everything, however, there was a general consensus on two topics: that Cassandra was the new Divine made everyone feel safe, and when Dorian Pavus and Nils Lavellan stayed up late drinking, nothing good was going to happen.

Dorian and Nils never intended to cause trouble when they decided to make a late night of it. It was always on a whim that a bottle of wine and a deck of Wicked Grace cards would come out, and they never had any immediate plans for mischief. But as the night would wear on and they would eventually run to the wine cellar to sneak more alcohol, those who were on patrol and saw them drunkenly giggling with a bottle of wine each expected to hear about something they had done in the morning.

This particular evening found them in Dorian’s alcove, drinking straight from the bottles as they played Wicked Grace by candlelight. No one else in the castle save for the patrols on the battlements were awake, and they were both too drunk to keep track of who was betting what.

“And his hair,” Dorian said, setting the bottle onto the table loudly. “Who on earth—how can he even do that?”

“I know!” Nils agreed, shuffling the cards with clumsy hands. “He just… I think he styles it? They talk about it, in the war room sometimes.”

“Do they? What a bunch of doddering gossips! I knew I fit in here,” Dorian said, picking up the cards Nils dealt him. “Is there anything they don’t talk about in the war room?”

“As far as I know, none of them are aware of the time we went in there,” Nils said, punctuating his sentence with a hiccup. “Good thing, too, because I think Josephine would have our skin.”

“We put everything back the way it was supposed to go, didn’t we?” Dorian said, picking a new card from the deck. “But, back to the subject of our commander’s hair.”

“It’s so light,” Nils said. “I’ve never seen hair so light.”

“Come now, amatus,” Dorian said, raising an eyebrow. “My family had elven slaves with light hair. It’s not an unheard of thing.”

Nils grabbed a card and looked at Dorian. “My clan was all dark-haired! And I mean… I saw elves at the Arlath’ven that had lighter hair, but… not in my clan.”

“What in the name of the Maker is an Arlath’ven?”

“A meeting of the clans of Dalish. We send word out and meet up. They happen every ten years. There was one about four years ago, in Halamshiral. Lots of fun, honestly.” Nil took a drink of wine. “Creators, but Cullen is beautiful.”

“You will find no disagreement from me. A little birdie told me you may have propositioned him, once.”

Nils chuckled. “I did. He’s lovely. I would have welcomed him. He turned me down.”

“Hurtful, you know. Would you have pursued me if he’d said yes?”

“That depends.”

“On?”

Nils smiled and looked at Dorian. “How many gods I saw after having sex with him.”

Dorian laughed, leaning back in his chair. “Oh! Such a tongue on you. And I should know. Tell me, amatus. How many did you see with me?”

“I don’t know if I have time to give you the name of every god in the Elven pantheon, ma vhenan. Knowing you, you’d ask what they’re all gods of, and I don’t feel like explaining.”

The conceited smile that settled on Dorian’s face was a welcome and familiar sight. “Then tell me, at least, what the god on your face is.”

“Have we not had this discussion before?” Nils asked, perplexed. “I could have sworn I’d told you about it before.”

“Someone else, maybe, but not me.”

Nils drew a card from the deck. “Mythal is the goddess I have represented in my vallaslin. Which is why I refused to let Morrigan have the Well of Sorrows. I dedicated my life to her, no way was I letting a shem have her knowledge.”

“Oh, that’s right, you did tell me this. I think I blocked the conversation out because I was angry with you.”

Nils grabbed his bottle of wine. “You were angry with me?”

“Of course I was! You were warned there was a price to pay and you drank the ridiculous slop anyway! Why on earth would I be pleased that there was a chance I would lose you?” Dorian paused, took a drink of wine, and then stared at the table. “Do the voices bother you?”

“They only speak when I ask them things. Or, if they really need to tell me something. It’s sort of just like having an inner monologue. Nothing horrible. Plus, they seem to like me, I think. So they’re not worrisome.” Nils reached over and grabbed Dorian’s hand. “Shall I tell you what they think of you?”

“Oh, they think of me, do they? What have they to say about the descendant of the Tevinter scavengers?”

“They like you.”

Dorian, despite himself, smiled. “I’m flattered to have their approval.”

Nils looked at Dorian, then rubbed his knuckles with his thumb. “Come on, ma vhenan. Let’s do something interesting!”

“The sun’s almost risen, what kind of interesting can we do?”

There was a beat of quiet, then Nils gasped loudly. “Dorian. Cullen.”

“What, what about him, besides his delicious-looking scar and fantastic hair?”

Nils threw his cards down and looked at Dorian with wide, manic eyes. “We both think he’s handsome, right? And I’ve propositioned him before. And can I assume that you’ve flirted with him over chess?”

“Naturally.”

“What if,” Nils held a hand up, paused to hiccup, then looked back at Dorian. “What if we sneaked into his bed and made him think we slept with him?”

The glowing look of adoration that conquered Dorian’s features could have lit a Chantry. “I love what Tevinter wine does to your mind, amatus. Makes it all sorts of naughty. Let’s go.”

Card game abandoned, Nils and Dorian ran down the stairs into the rotunda where Solas had left them murals on the walls, stumbling out onto the pathway that led to Cullen’s office. The first rays of sunlight were starting to peek out over the peaks of the mountains, throwing shadows over the towers and the grounds. Nils almost tripped over an errant board and Dorian caught him, shushing the drunken laughter the Dalish couldn’t hold in. Nils quietly pushed open the door to Cullen’s office, peaking inside. It was dark and quiet; they stepped in carefully, looking at the ladder that led to Cullen’s loft.

“How do we do this?” Nils asked in a whisper.

“Quickly, because our commander’s an early riser.”

“No, I meant… who’s on what side?”

“Let’s get up there and decide it then, when we can see him.”

Nils nodded, then walked over to the ladder and carefully made his way up, taking care to not make too much noise. He waited for Dorian to follow, looking up at the ceiling.

“Does… does Cullen know we have the resources to fix his ceiling?” Nils asked, staring at the holes gaping in the stone. “Should we tell him?”

“We’ll save it for the pillow talk,” Dorian said, looking at the bed. “Oh, sweet Maker.”

“What?” Nils followed his gaze. “Oh, Creators.”

“We should have thought of this sooner,” Dorian said, smirking as he stared at Cullen, who was sprawled on his back in the middle of his bed and naked to the waist. His body had scars to match the roguish one on his lip and he had the body of a soldier. Nils and Dorian were stuck staring at him for a moment before Nils tapped Dorian on the arm.

“…The plan?”

“Right, yes, the plan,” Dorian said, blinking twice. “You get on the left, I’ll go on the right, and he’ll be in the middle. Good?”

“Excellent.” Nils began working on the buttons on his shirt, setting it aside as Dorian worked on his clasps. Nils was shimmying out his trousers, eternally grateful that Dorian didn’t care when he went without shoes, when something caught his eye.

“Vhenan,” he said, getting Dorian’s attention. “I lay claim.”

“To what?” Dorian looked at Nils and followed the path of his pointed finger. “Oh, you—why do you always get the fun things?”

“Because I’m the Inquisitor!” Nils said, stepping over to the armor stand against the wall. Carefully, Nils grabbed the vest Cullen wore, taking care not to make any of the metal clatter. Being drunk did not help matters, but eventually, Nils got the fur-collar vest free. In his smalls, Nils draped the vest over his shoulders and smiled, petting the dyed red fur.

“Oh, this is luxurious!” Nils nuzzled his face into the gigantic collar. “I want one for my own.”

“You’re not allowed.”

Nils frowned and looked at Dorian. “Why not?”

“Because, amatus,” Dorian said, grinning and grabbing Nils by the hips. “If I let you have one, we’d never get anything done.”

Nils bit his lip and smiled as Dorian kissed his neck, one hand sneaking back to grab his ass. With a hand on chest, Nils managed to push Dorian back.

“Later, vhenan, we have a plan. Remember?”

“I’m holding you to that.” Dorian pressed a small kiss on the end of Nils’ nose and tiptoed over to the bed, Nils following him. The sunlight began pouring into the windows, the sun having emerged over the top of the mountain. Carefully, so as not to jostle the commander and ruin the prank, Dorian and Nils got into Cullen’s bed, situating themselves and hoping it went well. Dorian held his breath as Nils slowly scooted until he was flush against Cullen’s side, almost cheering when Cullen, in his sleep, wrapped his arm around Nils and pulled him closer. Nils looked ready to scream from excitement, and Dorian had to put his fingers to his lips to remind the Inquisitor to be quiet.

“Now we wait,” Dorian whispered, smiling.

The sun rose a little higher in the sky and a few soldiers outside discussed their change of guard. Nils had actually begun to doze off when the body next to him moved. Keeping his eyes clamped shut, excited for the outcome, Nils reached out for Dorian’s hand. Nils’ arm lay draped across Cullen’s stomach as he and Dorian loosely laced their fingers together, waiting for Cullen to wake.

It took another few minutes before the hand on Nils’ waist began to move in a curious manner, as if it couldn’t figure out what it was touching. There was a sharp intake of breath and suddenly Cullen was sitting up on his elbows, jostling Dorian and Nils. Opening one eye, Nils smiled at the commander.

“Morning, Cullen.”

* * *

Everyone assumed that strange things happened in Skyhold, what with a Qunari, a Red Jenny, a spirit-turned-human, and an Orlesian bard living inside of it, among other things. No one expected, however, to be woken early one morning by the Inquisitor and Dorian, running through the ground in their smalls, the Inquisitor wearing Cullen’s vest, with the commander of the Inquisition’s forces shirtless and hot on their heels, brandishing his sword at them as they screamed bloody murder. It was also interesting to learn that the Inquisitor could run faster without shoes on than he could with them.

It took Josephine weeks to sort through the letters of proposal from the Orlesian noblewomen who had been rendered speechless and smitten with the nearly naked men, and Sera still laughed to herself about it every few days. Cullen refused to play chess with either Nils or Dorian for two weeks and Leliana winked whenever she saw Dorian.

“All things considered,” Dorian said, reading a book in his alcove. “A delightful time all around.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dorian/Lavellan is my OTP and I love the idea of them teasing Cullen.  
> [BTW this is a shitty cell phone picture of Nils if you'd like to see what he looks like](http://41.media.tumblr.com/dc65928dd221eb5371f2b0c177a84c5e/tumblr_nglfsfAQhT1qirjjio1_1280.jpg). His eyes are a minty green color I love him.


End file.
